What the hell twitter?

Top tweet today: Lindsay Lohan had her wisdom teeth removed and... Who. Fucking. Cares? Honestly, why do people feel the need to have celebrities constantly barrage them with inane trivialities like lindsay Lohan getting her teeth removed, or T. O. learning how to speak or John Mayer having his penis surgically reattached. Again. If she had gotten all her teeth removed, I might care, but I would only care because i would be curious as to why someone would need all of their teeth removed. Perhaps so they could have sharpened metallic teeth installed, or so they would stop biting their tongue. Either wayhe tweet would have been far more interesting if Lohan had all of her teeth removed and not just a measly two teeth. No teeth is cool teeth. As it is, I have seen several people who have no teeth. Most of them were homeless and/or completely insane, and sometimes they would yell at me and flash their genitalia, which is something they have in common with Lindsay Lohan. They also share the joy of my complete apathy, apart from being blogged about.

But I think the reason that people tweet about Lindsay Lohan's teeth or Gossip Girl actors caught with pot is because there is an inherent problem in websites like twitter and facebook: people think they are interesting. But really, they arent. Most people have nothing interesting to say at all, and just blabber about meaningless dribble like its important. And then they expect me to care. You went to the grocery store today? No way!! You hate red lights? Holy shit! ME TOO!!!! You ran over another bunny on your way home from school? Whoop-de-doo. People should just focus on stuff that is important, like I did in my last facebook status. A kid in norway was out playing with his sister in some woods or something, and a moose attacked them. A fucking moose! Thinking fast, the kid started yelling insults at moose and drew aggro so his sister could escape. And then, since he was a lvl 30 hunter, feigned death. And the moose left! The kid learned this trick from World Of Warcraft!! He pretended to die, using the same overdramatic animation from that the video game had taught him oh so well, and it fucking worked. The moose, who I assume is an avid WoW player, knew the game was up and just left.

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He was late for a raid

This is the kind of stuff we need to be tweeting about. Moose stuff. Did you know that a moose, when enraged by assholes shooting tranquilizer darts at it, can destroy a Helicopter? You do now! Did you know that there is an entire website dedicated to moose related news and facts? Guess what, there fucking is! It even has its own moosey icon on the left of it's google chrome tab. Classy! This is the kind of stuff we need to tweet about. The important stuff. The moose stuff.